The raspberries are ripe. Their plump orbs call to me at the living room window. I venture out, container in hand. The grass is wet with dew. The air like a thick blanket engulfs me. Already the sun casts its warmth. As I near the raspberries, I see they are heavy on the branches, bending the plants to the ground. The purple fruit yields to my gentle touch. They are soft, juicy and inviting. A nearby bird, probably a robin, scolds me, its morning solitude interrupted. I continue plucking, gently. The plant relieved of its weight, reaches skyward. Quickly my bucket fills. Some berries are too ripe to eat, the purple is turning to gray. I leave them on the ground. Are there ripe seeds amongst them?

New plants unfurl their leaves, a promise of sweet treats next year. I near the fence and spy with great delight two dark purple spots nearby. The birds missed two saskatoon berries. I pop them in my mouth. They roll across my tongue, the tartness awakens the taste buds. The berry patch is a tangle of weeds and grass, raspberries and strawberries and an unknown tree. They all mingle as strangers at a party decked out in their finest jewels. The dew sparkling as diamonds on their leaves. I bump them and am sprayed with a light mist. It is too wet to venture far. I dare not tread amongst the peas, their white blossoms reaching, stretching, calling to the bees. I'll wait and hope. I notice beside them the stunted tomatoes, merely a foot tall and yet the yellow blossoms hold hope. I wonder how such a small plant will have the strength to hold fruit.

Along the edges, I press my fingers into the warm, moist earth and pull. The displaced plants stacked to the side to rot. It is my hope they will smother others and nurture the soil at the same time. The pile grows as the ground is exposed. The fine feathers of the carrots form a mat across a row. I'm tempted to mix beets among them next year to spell welcome. The cucumbers fill cages, their leaves forming great cups. The earth is too soft to explore among them. Will they produce fruit or merely delight us with pointy leaves? I continue along the edge of the rows, plucking, pulling, wondering. The birds have quieted. The neighbors are venturing out. There are sounds of vehicles and voices. How still and quiet would this place be before 9.

I spy a lone strawberry plant. Hastily placed beside the bleeding heart. Its final resting place was to be beneath the protective boughs of the evergreen but first the grass needed to be removed. The bed is being prepped. A row of grass stretches its green fingers out taunting , teasing. A row of grass that was missed as paper and leaves were placed above to prepare for the strawberries. This lone strawberry stands amidst a sea of weeds. Perhaps it needs to be covered with paper and leaves to rob it of light. I pull and pluck, wondering, contemplating anticipating. My feet and hands are covered in dark, damp earth. The moist air clings to my skin. I wander back past the herbs and think. The ant toils and stores away food while it can. As I pluck leaves from a basil, I admire its deep purple veins set against the green and am thankful for the abundance around me. Will I enjoy the fruits of my labor through the cold winter months? So often I am tempted to grumble at the work instead of being thankful for the bounty. Today the quiet journey through the garden was just the right medicine to remind me of the abundance. The weeds still grow, the rain still fall but in the middle is peace and rest, nourishment for the body and soul.

... reading. The stack of books beside the bed grows with each trip to the library. It seems for every book I return I find at least two more of interest. I had to stop myself from putting more requests in through the online system. I love browsing the library stacks from the comfort of my own home. It is not quite as tactile an experience as being able to pick up a book and thumb through it. I am however able to browse through the holdings of all the libraries in the province. This way I can find treasures that exist in places I am unable to visit. Sometimes it takes weeks for the book to be available for pick up especially if it is coming from another locale. My latest is from the wapiti regional library to the north of us.

My choice in reading material is ecclectic. I have a running injury book beside the "Journals of Louisa May Alcott". I am really enjoying the glimpse into history that her journals offer and the processes behind her writing. I recently read "The Apothecary's Daughter" as part of an online book club. It sits beside the current club selection "Lovely Bones". The one book is a historical romance, the other a thriller. Neither book are ones I would have chosen myself. I am not a fan of romance nor thrillers. I enjoyed "The Apothecary's Daughter." I did not enjoy the other. The writing was well done but the subject matter was disturbing. I am trying to collect my thoughts on the books we read as part of the book club into a mini book. I have planned it such that it can be added to over time. "The Apothecary's Daughter" is ready to be returned. I was just waiting in case I wanted to check some tidbit of information for my album.

Among the books I recently returned were some gardening books they were replaced with some books on writing. The garden is planted and in maintenance mode. Soon the harvest will start weather permitting. I can do nothing to speed the process and so I turn my attention elsewhere. I have not only been reading published journals but books about journaling. I am intrigued with the journal format. I have kept a pen and paper journal off and on for years. I have some that are full with even the inside covers filled others are half finished and were then misplaced. My online journal here shares the same fate. There are sections with many entries and then silence. At times the silence makes me anxious. I am finding that in the times of silence there is something simmering for later. When it is ready, I will pick up one of my many forms of recording my thoughts and let them spill out.

I tell Bruce the randomness of reading material and focus keeps life interesting. I am not sure he would agree. He did however, read one of the books I recently picked up and indicated he was interested in reading another of them. Our tastes in reading occasionally converge and I have read things he recommended. Normally however, our differing reading habits add variety to our discussions. One thing is sure, life is never dull around here.

I try to find the beauty in each season. Some are harder than others. This has been a tough spring. It seemed like the clouds would never leave and the sun was lost. I new this not to be true but still the rains kept coming. The ground is saturated. The rain barrels are full. And still the rains came. In between we had small glimpses of the sun. Everyone rushed to get some of their outside work completed before the rains came again.

My garden is mostly planted. It is late and there is a risk that it will not be harvested before the frosts in the fall. There is always a risk though. My seedlings are small since they lacked sun even in the sunniest window. They are green and growing though and that was a pleasant thing to see in the midst of the gray. Soon, I will be able to add fresh herbs from my garden pots to supper. The girls can't wait for the mint to be ready to eat. As spring gives way to summer, the ground will dry and we may find ourselves wishing for a cloudy day to give needed moisture. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy the sun and the spots of cheer brought by spring flowers.

Hebrews 12:1b "...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Growing up I participated in team sports. I like soccer, and basketball. I played hockey for a year and then ringette. I tried to have fun with field day but really didn't. I was always last in the races. I was usually panting for air. How could this be fun? When I was 13, I was diagnosed with asthma and given an inhaler. That ended my yearly bouts of bronchitis and pneumonia. It ended my regular trips to the doctor for lung problems. It did not end the gasping for air if I tried something that I had not trained for or if my triggers (pollen, dust, mold, or smoke) were present. It just gave me a way to deal with it and cope.

In high school I damaged my knees playing basketball. I was told that I had to give up sports with running and jumping. I was instructed to take up swimming and to go easy on stairs as if I was old and could fall if I wasn't careful. I gave up basketball. I didn't mind that I wouldn't be able to participate in the upcoming track and field events. I took swimming lessons and tried to cope with my new circumstances. Within a year, I grew frustrated. I missed being able to participate in sports I loved. However, I was out of high school and the opportunities were less especially for someone recovering from an injury. I could have gone to a doctor who specialized in sports medicine and been given a plan to recover without giving up. I could have done a lot of things, but I didn't. I tried to cope and at times I didn't cope well.

While in university, I went to a new doctor. She decided that I could do more to control my asthma than just wait for an attack. I could build up my lungs so they would be stronger and I would become less reliant on medication to be active. I started on a preventative inhaler. Now I rarely need to use either inhaler (though it has taken years to get to this point). In fact I need them so rarely that I can not find the preventative inhaler (even though spring is the time I need it most). I have needed my reliever less than 6 times this season. My lungs are the strongest they have been in a long time. Except this weekend. The day before the race, my asthma flared up. The day before, just like so many times over the years, I find myself to in a position of struggling with the activities that are before me.

Over the past few years, I have toyed with the idea of running a race. By running I mean run some and walk some on a good day, walk most on a bad day, though I would like to try to run most or even all at some point. I have this long and frustrating history of not being able to that keeps me from thinking that I could actually run all of it. My sisters could run the race and have. One sister liked cross country running. One sister liked sprints. I liked neither. So why have I been toying with running. Simply because I don't like being inactive and it is much harder to fit team sports into our already busy schedule. I have played ball for a number of years. But that only lasts a few months. I was asked to join a volleyball team but well, I liked volleyball even less than track. And so, I keep coming back to running or swimming or both.

Victoria takes after my sister Marles in many ways. So many that I at times wonder if I somehow ended up with my sisters kid. She has decided she likes to run. She likes to run long distances. She ran 2.2K 2 weeks ago in conjunction with the Saskatchewan Marathon. She loved it. Yesterday she ran 5K in the Bridge City Boogie, again she had a great time. She convinced Kathryn to try the 2K in the Boogie. Kathryn had a blast and was ready to run it again. Next time she will need to do the 5K just to use up that extra energy. With encouragement from them and wanting to set a good example of being active and trying things, I also signed up for the Boogie. I alternated between walking and running through the whole 5K course. I was frustrated that I could not get enough air in to run more. My feet and legs hurt less when I was running. My right foot was numb for the last 2K. I had to put tensor support on my ankle in order to walk after, but I finished it. (My goal was to finish in under one hour which would be mostly walking. I finished in just under 50 minutes.) Then the wierdest thing happened. Instead of simply resting after as I had planned, I had too much energy. Totally didn't expect that. Maybe I can be a runner after all. Last August, I walked 5K as part of a Family fun run/walk. This year if the event happens I think I would like to run half of it. The girls they plan to run it. Victoria has totally caught the running bug. She thinks she would like to run a half marathon at some point and maybe even a marathon. I just want to keep getting healthy and if running will help me do that then I will keep training and maybe be able to run the whole 5K at some point.

In the meantime, I am gaining new perspective on the training and perseverance. I wanted to stop when my foot started to bother me. I wanted to stop when I could no longer breathe. There were so many times I wanted to stop. In the past I have, partly on the advice of experts, partly because it was easier. This time, I am going to keep training for sport and for life and run with perseverance.

I love my kids, as most parents do. I want the best for them. I try to provide a safe place for them and a secure environment where they can grow and learn. I want them to try things that interest them without them feeling like they have to succeed at everything. Sometimes you need to fail in order to find what works best. The one area that I can not afford to fail is with raising my kids. I however, am not perfect. I at times struggle with fear especially fear of failure. I see people everywhere acting from fear instead of confidence. I see others confident that they are doing what they should be doing. I wonder at times what the difference is. Are those who have confidence really that sure of what they are doing in spite of opposition or are they just hoping nobody challenges them and sees through their act?

Society seems to thrive on fear. TV shows, newspapers and books all seem to have a healthy dose of fear. I do not want my girls to think this is normal. Today I am torn because the school seems to be reinforcing the message of fear. The world is a scary place so we need to lock it out. As of this morning the school will be locked during the day including at recess and lunch. Well it was going to be locked through lunch but that had its own problems and will now be unlocked. We don't live in a rough neighborhood. We live in a middle class neighborhood. There are trouble makers as in any neighborhood but we are not a hot spot for gangs or drugs or prostitution or any of those activities that are said to be prevalent in other neighborhoods where the schools have been locked. In fact when two grade 4 boys were talking about prostitution today the girls asked "what is that?" I would characterize our neighborhood as relatively safe. Relatively because nothing is guaranteed safe. There are no magic bubbles that we can encase ourselves or our children in. To live involves risk. It is my job as a mom to minimize the risk and to teach my kids how to live with risk.

It is risky for them to enter a gym with batons flying everywhere and yet twice a week they do and they are throwing some of those batons. Not only that but we pay for the priviledge of them being coached in what is a beautiful sport but dangerous if not done properly. Others put their kids on the ice where bones can and do get broken. We get ion our car and drive to the store or library risking an accident. If the weather is nice enough we instead use our bicycles and hope that we don't fall or get hit by a car. On Sunday, Victoria ran 2.2 kilometers on the road in a road race. For part of the route traffic was not allowed, for part it was allowed on one side of the road. I joke about putting the girls in a bubble and never letting them leave the house but I broke my foot a number of years ago stepping down from my living room to my dining room, inside the house while wearing shoes.

The question I am pondering today is if we as a society are actually teaching our kids to be afraid instead of giving them the tools they need to manage the risks they encounter. I am not convinced that our school needs to be locked. I think it might be teaching the kids fear and paranoia. For some it might be giving a false sense of security, leading them to believe that no one can get in that shouldn't. In fact, I witnessed kids figuring out how to get in today and one teacher ask how are they getting in isn't the door locked? No human system is 100% secure. No system is risk free. Instead of teaching fear because we as adults react from a place of fear, let's teach our kids how to make decisions and choose whether the risk is acceptable. Until we start being willing to do that, we will have to lock schools and hover over the kids for fear that they might actually take chances and try something to see what happens. Let's just make sure we don't lock the kids out while we try to make things safer for them and actually cause more harm than the original risk was.

In the meantime, I will continue to grapple with the questions of how much protection is enough and how do I train my girls to independence while protecting them from every real and imagined risk that arises. Hopefully they won't need years of counseling once they leave home to heal the scars that have been inflicted because I let them climb a tree and find out how gravity works or ride a bike to school.

I studied finance and then did a tax prep course. This year I am so thankful I am not working in the industry right now. Tax season ends this week with Friday the deadline. I usually do our taxes by the 15th of April and put them in the mail about now. This year, I am sorting receipts and working on taxes today. I have always been a procrastinator to some extent. It takes great discipline and sticking to a routine to get things done early. For the last number of months, the routine has not been happening. The procrastination nature has taken over. Still there are a few days left to get things done, which would be fine if everything just worked. Unfortunately everything does not just work. Today as I was printing spreadsheets to aide in the preparation of our tax returns, the printer stopped working. I live with a computer guru so this should be a small issue. Bruce checked out a few things and decided that the toner cartridge needed replacing. No problem. He dropped me off to supervise and went to pick up a new one. He picked me up a little over an hour later, had some lunch and installed the new cartridge. The cartridge is NOT the problem. Apparently the printer is tired of doing its job, just as I am tired of doing mine at the moment. The printer will be replaced. Hopefully my attitude will also be replaced. I think it will be easier to replace the printer than to replace my attitude. Since my attitude is of more importance than the printer, I best get working on it. Maybe I'll find an improved one once I dig out from under the pile of papers that are carpeting my table and floor. I am going to start by being thankful that the computer did not die and I still have access to the records it contains. Then I am going to try to be thankful that the taxes represent a portion of the blessing we received last year and the benefits we receive from the government. That one will be harder because there are many times the governments priorities seem at odds with ours. Still the fact that we had an income that could be taxed means God not only provided for our needs but some extra with which we can help others. Hopefully, as the day progresses, I will find more to be thankful for as a way to change my outlook and attitude.

It seems to be a simple word. It is one of the first we learn to read. We use it for many situations. At times this word carries a depth of emotion. We get frustrated when things run late or if we run out of gas. We take our car to the mechanic if it is running rough. Some of us watch the Olympics or other sporting events. The running races are always interesting. There is much training and effort put into a 10 second race. The elation of a win is evident on the faces. Some of us run for pleasure and exercise, some avoid running entirely.

I was never any good at track and field and tended to lag behind the class when we had to run for gym class. I enjoyed basketball and soccer, two sports with lots of running even though I said I could not run. I left the cross country running to Marles and the sprints to Amee. After high school, I only ran if there was a sport I wanted to play that had some running, like slow pitch with the church. Because of this past history of running or avoiding running, I find myself baffled as I consider running. I need to increase my fitness level for my health. Sitting in front of a computer screen much of the day is not helping me.

A year and a half ago, my blood pressure started to climb. With some consistent exercise (mostly walking) and changes to our eating habits, the blood pressure returned to normal. However, other things started to cause me to stop walking and then stop trying. As fall progressed through winter, I started to notice changes. I lacked energy. My headaches were back. I lacked ideas. I started to try to regain the health I was losing. In the midst of a time of contemplation and lethargy, I started to ponder the idea of participating in the Bridge City Boogie. I could walk or run 2K, 5K, or 10K. Or could I? The idea at times seems absurd. I am not a runner. Well maybe I could walk. Last summer, I walked 5K one week after surgery. it was the beginning of the end of my walking. I have mostly sat for a number of months since. This is one of my more extreme ideas. I started talking to Bruce about the idea and Victoria started talking about running the 5K. She takes after her aunt in a number of ways including a preference for long distance running. I decided to aim for completing 5K. I've done that distance before, walking so I can do it, but should I try to run it? That seems a bizzare question for someone who has avoided running to ask. And yet that is exactly the question I find myself contemplating.

Today, I did my first training run of the second week of a nine week training program to run 5K. My legs ache but not as much as they did last week. I have no idea how much ground I would have covered during the walk/run intervals of the program but the treadmill indicated almost 4K. Granted I walked more than I ran but still, there are seven and a half more weeks to go. At this point I will be happy if I can run part of the 5K come June 13, with a goal of finishing it well. In August there will likely be a chance to participate in the same neighborhood walk/run I did last year. If I can run part of the Boogie in June, my goal will be to run the whole 5K in August. It is possible my pride will be hurting along with my legs come June 13th as I fully expect that Victoria will have a better time than I have. I am competitive enough that being bettered by a ten year old could sting. At the same time as a mother, I will be proud of my girl for the training she has done and the effort she gives. Besides, she regularly surpasses me in many areas, this will just be one more. We regularly tell the girls that we want them to try, and we want them to do their best. Now it will be my turn to listen to that. I look forward to participating with my girls.

I have been frustrated lately and getting more frustrated as time goes by. I have tried to hide that frustration at times for fear of how it will effect my kids and to some extent the kids around us as it may affect my job. Bruce has often heard my ranting. Last night he asked, "What do you expect to accomplish?" "Well, nothing if I just keep the frustration to myself or rant to him." That means though I need to figure out a constructive way to try to affect change.

I was one of those weird kids who enjoyed school. Actually, I enjoyed the more challenging aspects of school. I did not enjoy the tasks that I perceived as busy work. Busy work, is that which is designed to keep someone occupied so they do not cause trouble. I caused trouble when I was bored. I remember clearly being excited when in grade 2 we were assigned a homework assignment on rainbows. I did not think through the implications of how would I find out the required answers after I got off the bus at about 5 with the nearest library back in the city. I just new that this was something different and interesting. I also clearly remember that the reason we had this homework was because the teacher, Mrs. M was frustrated at me and a few of my friends constantly disrupting class. Yep, grade 2 and I was a trouble maker. While waiting and trying to be respectful of the class and teacher (that is what my parents were trying to teach me), I made stickers. It may not have been the best way to make stickers and it may have caused my mom to wonder just what is it I did with my glue but at least it occupied my time. I would draw a small picture and color it. Then I cut it out, turned it upside down inside my desk and coated the back with glue. I then left it to dry while I started on the next one. Once it was dry, you could lick it and stick it wherever you wished. Figuring out where to stick it could be almost as fun as making the sticker. In grade 9, I was again labeled a trouble maker. This time I told the math teacher, Mrs D., that she did not know what she was talking about. If you used the method she was teaching there were times you were guaranteed to get the wrong answer. I backed up my assertion by writing a proof on the blackboard. Now I had learned a little bit about respect over the years and I did not do this in front of the class, though I did at times challenge her to prove the concept in class. I did this at a parent teacher interview. My parents talked to me all the way home (almost an hour) about at least trying to show respect to my teachers.

I did have good teachers along the way. Teachers that challenged me and encouraged me and helped me to believe that learning could be fun and interesting. That learning was necessary and that the basic skills were needed no matter how boring they were. Two such teachers stand out: Mrs Weathergreen (grade 4/5) and Mr Monet (grade7). It is in part because of the mix of teachers and experiences that I had in school that I find myself in a state of frustration now. I want my girls to find learning fun and interesting and necessary. I want them to work through the boring things paying attention to detail so that they have a strong base for the more interesting and challenging things that will come. I want them to respect their teachers because they are in a position of authority. I also work with those same teachers in a support role. Unfortunately, there are some teachers that are like my Mrs M. and Mrs. D. I wonder at the long term damage that is being done by sitting in the classroom and losing a year to poor teaching. I wonder is it poor teaching or is it the teaching methods they are required to use. It is likely a combination of both. After Easter break, I am supposed to go in and talk to the principal at one of the schools about the frustrations I have. I want to be clear that the current teacher is the best we've had and that I believe that the teaching methods she is forced to use is causing the problems.

We are using an inquiry based curriculum for math. I have looked at the textbooks on the rare occasion that the girls bring homework. There are some good things in them. There are some horrible things in them. I am tempted to prepare for the upcoming meeting in the manner we evaluated companies in my management classes and finance classes at university. Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and challenges. I could turn it into a confrontation and have found some research that would back that up. I do not think that a confrontation will bring about improvements. I am not sure what one school can do when this is provincially mandated. Other places are starting to return to a more traditional math curriculum because of the weaknesses of the inquiry based models. I wonder, will my girls have choices of career or will they be limited because their schooling was lacking in key areas like numeracy. They are not learning the specific math language that is needed for further math study. Instead of learning that 2+3 is always 5, students are encouraged to discover the answers using math strategies. I use math strategies in my day to day life. Math strategies are good. The first strategy I use is memorization. Just as I memorized the order of the alphabet and the order of numerals in counting when I was in school. I learned basic math facts and fact families. I know that 12x12=144 always and 14+13=27 always. I can use those facts to figure out complex equations if I need to. I discover the answer to 5146x33 by using my 3 times table that is memorized, not by pulling out a chart and checking what the answer is to 5x3. I use reading strategies to learn new and complex words. I can attempt to sound out a new word using phonics. I can attempt to spell in the same manner. The girls are required to explain how they got their answers. Great we had to show our work as well. But they have to explain in a few sentences or a short paragraph instead of with a mathematical equation. Maybe this is good, it shows some understanding. They are not allowed though at least at the grade 3 level to state in the explanation that the used memorized math facts. Apparently memorization is wrong and turns us into robots and with the availability of calculators and computers we no longer need to know the facts just the reason behind them.

I wonder what people would think if their surgeon had not memorized the procedure but had to continually refer to a textbook or chart? What if the programmer of the point of sale terminal was unfamiliar with basic math and the computer was programed with a built in multiplication error that resulted in random sales tax charges? Would we be willing to pay and extra few percent because it is close enough? Maybe there is a good reason that our jos are being outsourced to other countries. Maybe it is because we are losing the skills necessary to do them ourselves. Maybe the watered down curriculum is a symptom of a larger decline in society. If so, I find it an unacceptable choice for my family and will work to give them the skills they need. I wonder if it is time to start learning another language other than French and English. Maybe we need to learn Mandarin or one of the main languages of India. Each of those countries has more honors students than the USA has students. Maybe there are reasons we are no longer the leader in terms of productivity and innovation. Maybe we need to make some changes.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 2:20-21

I love books. They are one of my escapes. When I pick up an interesting novel, I travel through time and space with the characters. Some make me think and evaluate. Some encourage. Some open up a world of imagination. I also enjoy reading non-fiction. It is a way to learn before I make mistakes. Ok, sometimes I don't learn very well and have to see if the author was right. They are ways to get a glimpse into how other people live. I do not like horror or romance stories.

Victoria's class has been doing a book talk per month. Each month the teacher selects a different genre for the students to read. They pick a book, read it and present it to the class. I really like the idea. It exposes the students to many different forms of writing that they might not otherwise have tried. Victoria has some new favorite authors as a result. This month they are to read a romance novel. Except there are not true romance novels in the children's section of the library, so they are reading novels with elements of romance. HSe has obviously heard my thoughts on the genre because before she even had a chance to see what options she had, I heard "I don't want to read a romance. I don't like romance." Uh oh, that is not the way I wanted to influence her.

We recently had a chance to read a special book. Both girls have read it, I have not. I know what is in the book. I lived through it. Kathryn repeatedly asked. "Mom, did you know...?" as she read it. "Yes Kathryn I know." was always my reply. She was quite surprised that I knew the content of the book without reading it. She should not have been. The book is the story of my youngest sister from birth to young adult. It is an inspirational book and hopefully an encouragement to those who read it. That is why Mom wrote it. Well that and because Amee kept telling her she needed to write it.

Amee's Story is the story of how we almost lost the chance to know what a treasure Amee was going to be. She had a stroke at birth. She stopped breathing during the first night and the doctor kept her alive by resuscitating her more than once while they waited for the ambulance to arrive from Saskatoon, the nearest neo-natal equipped hospital. The doctor's did not expect her to live, to walk, to speak... The list was long and kept changing as she surprised all the professionals until they stopped predicting. Today, Amee is 27 years old. She still surprises us at times and seems to take great pleasure in doing so.

Last night, was one more piece of the adventure that Amee has taken our family on. We had a local book launch and signing for the recently published book. They were on the local news. The reporter, who interviewed them, has previously met Amee through Special Olympics track. Friends and family came out to support the two of them. My brother practiced his catering skills and gave me directions in helping him set up. I am sure he enjoyed being able to boss me around for a change. As the older sister, that was always my role but not anymore. I do still reserve the right to make suggestions and offer encouragement to all my siblings. Bruce was tagged to take picture. Mom and Amee signed the books. We all wandered and visited and had a good evening.

I wonder what is next on this incredible journey for our family. Mom has been asked what she is writing next. Amee has started speaking with Mom on occasion. She is training with Toastmasters. We didn't expect this and we don't know what is next. One thing is sure though, it is going to be more than we could have imagined when the journey started. I already has been.

Today was the first full day of my new year. I was blessed to get a year older. Some of my friends and others I know are not too keen on the number climbing in relation to themselves. I am not too keen if that number is my weight but that is a different story. I was recently reading in the book of Proverbs and came across a verse about grey hair being a blessing. I think I will have to go back and look at it again. I might even memorize it as an explanation as to why I am not dying my hair. Those who know me best would know that the real reason my hair is not dyed is that I just can't be bothered. I would forget to return to the salon for the touch ups and it would probably look worse. If Bruce starts complaining, I'll consider it although that is not likely to happen either.

With the New Year and my new year so close together, I have been pondering and contemplating. What plans do I have for this coming year. I refuse to set myself up for failure with resolutions. I am not going to exercise every day. I am not going to suddenly change and do everything right. At the same time, I do not want to not even try to change those things that bother me about me. I want to be able to look back at 2010 and be able to say that it was a good year. I want to be able to see the things that I did with and for my family. I want to have an impact in big or small ways on my community. I do not know what that looks like yet. I hope that I have a positive impact on the kids I supervise at school each day. I am trusting that the time I spend with my girls is time well spent.

I am curious about many things and I like to learn. Yesterday, I finally opened a book on HTML that Bruce signed out of the library for me. For some reason, I have been resisting learning this. I had decided that I could not do it. As I started with the "I can't..." it expanded. All of a sudden the list of things I didn't think I could do grew and grew. My girls started using the same type of language and it bugged me. I am still not convinced I can do it but at least I am trying which is what I expect from my girls. For January of 2010, my goal is to learn enough HTML to put together a basic website. If that works, I might try for a more sophisticated website using some of my graphics and design knowledge but for now one step at a time.

In 2009, I had some health challenges. The ones that are of most concern to me are the ones I did to myself. If I do not drink enough water, get enough sleep or eat well, I can not expect to have high energy levels. I need energy in order to enjoy all the things I like to do. I do not want to be left behind on family hikes. Well, if Kathryn decided to run, I'll be left behind. We like to go tobogganing. I want to be able to climb the hill. I want to play ball and not be winded running to first base and the list of things could go on. I am trying to re-establish my routines of regular sleep and healthy eating.

While I start on these things, I'll keep contemplating and pondering. As the year progresses, there are likely to be more changes needed. I do not know what is yet to come but I am looking forward to discovering it.