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08/19/2005: "Don't feel like a statement!"

Not long ago, I was shown a very common fallacy people use when communicating: they feel like a statement. After seeing and realizing the fallacy, it has really been bugging me how much I hear and read it around me.

As an example, consider this: "I feel like you are rejecting me." Strictly speaking, the phrase "you are rejecting me" is a statement, and statements are not feelings. You can't feel like a statement! You can think a statement, you can ponder a statement, you can perceive a statement, and you may even sense a statement, but you can't feel like one. You can only feel emotions or sensations, and sometimes you can feel like something else.

The problem comes in that "feel like" phrases state an emotional state, and it is wrong if not impossible to invalidate emotions. This allows the speaker put out the statement, which essentially assumes it is a real possibility if not truth, and disallows any dissention. Intentionally or otherwise, this can easily be dishonest and manipulative speech.

Please remember this the next time you feel like a statement.